Author Archives: Shields
Bitches aint shit….from bitches who may be shit….
I haven’t been to this shin-dig in a while and what a fine piece it is. It’s like the old stale turd just got a nice turtle-wax job and is now a shiny and gleamy turd. And smells like peaches! I’m mulling on writing something again….if the right thing comes up. And how about that crime. I believe that a large number of those “criminal incidents” stemmed directly from Mosk’s adventure in Chinatown.
Hangover Over?
As posted earlier on this site, Spring Weekends are upon us, and they can lead to the ultimate Spring FAIL. In continuance of preparing all of you to having the time of your lives that you won’t remember, I want to talk about the only detriment of drinking heavily…the dreaded hangover. Now everyone has their own remedies for curing their hangovers, be it taking advil before you go to bed, drinking a glass of water, having a really greasy EggMcMuffin, etc. …
All in, Balls Out: Spring FAIL
“Comin’ to you live from the city of….’HoustonLantaVegas’”
Now with the weather changing for the better (not in Boston, unless you rented a kayak or pontoon contraption of some type) colleges and their students around the country are gearing up for finals…o yeah, and SPRING FLING! Artist agreements are being finalized and announced, frats are starting to gear up for Greek events, and sorority ladies are dressing down. I couldn’t be better right? The answer is no, it doesn’t get any better. However, your Spring Fling could end up being a Spring FAIL, and that is something no one wants to see. It usually ends with someone passed up on a pissed and puked on mattress on top of strange roof after wandering (conscious decision?) into traffic. I mean, it’s not every day that you get to be – no scratch that – have to be just plain, old-fashioned drunk. All before 10 am. So here’s what I’ve learned will guarantee that you day will teeter on the edge of success and Spring FAIL.
From Rikers to The Office
I don’t really know how to put in links, but take a look at this. … sick mashup
All in, Balls Out: Kids
I was reading an article on Deadspin entitled Great Moments in Hookup History. It’s a very entertaining series on the site that is a collection of exactly what the title states. However, this particular compilation caught my eye:
This is to go along with your experience with watching Dead Man Walking. I had a girl come over to my place from the bar when she suggested we watch a movie. Now, I didn’t think anything of it at the time, and grabbed the most readily available DVD. Turns out my roommate had been watching KIDS, and popped it in so as to resume making out on the couch. An hour and a half later I have a girl far too sketched out by “Shhhhh Jenny, it’s just me, Casper,” to want to so much as look at me.
All in, Balls Out: Cold Pizza
I guess my posts will be about the recent life after college when a person is both confused on whether they are a functioning member of society. Am I still allowed to play Beirut? Can I drink things less than $4? Am I allowed to still hang out with college kids or even visit a college when its not Homecoming? Basically I will talk about the unknown abyss between college life and real life, where everything you still compare to what you did in college only now you realize that un-tucking your dress shirt is “dressing down and not giving a shit.”
Give me some more Will.I.Am
Now this is my first post on this beautiful website and I really must say, what has taken me so long. As I sit towards the end of the work day I realize that this post should have been written at the end of 2009, since it is about a song from 2009. But first, let me digress for a second. When I say end of the work day, I mean the end of a “standard” workday. Soon you realize no one works a “standard” work day anymore. Instead, you just work until you feel like giving up. And your eyes start to bleed out of your head from staring at 12-inch computer screen for 10 straight hours. Technology blows. So does your boss. Awesome isn’t it? But anyways, back to the topic at hand, which is the Black Eyed Peas, and more specifically their leader, William. (You see what name it is without the periods…William! Adults can be so clever!) I personally love the Black Eyed Peas because they make great dance music, and who doesn’t like to dance. And they make especially great dancing with ladies music. I think every girl likes something about BEP. They may like Fergie because she is the only girl, they may like them cause they make catchy songs, or like the rest of us, they hear them every 5 minutes on the radio and you have no choice but to like them. So I like to dance and I like ladies. Perfect combo. And that’s why we all need more Will.I.Am.
