Author Archives: Quell
I’m Kobe the Dockmaster, tales of my Docking have been heard far and wide…
You heard it here first, on the QNN: The Los Angeles Lakers like to dock. That’s right. And it’s exactly right because Gasol would be the uncut European in this scenario.
A Practical Joke from the Good News for Bad People Archive
Joke of the day: Convince your 80 year-old grandmother that she has Alzheimer’s. So it’s my mom’s 50th birthday, I’m home to celebrate and naturally, my 80 year-old grandmother is here as well. My mom said to me at some point that if she ever had to go to a nursing home that it better be a nice one. I told her I’d euthanize her instead. Anyway, this gave me a brilliant idea: What if I convinced my grandmother she …
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From the Good Ideas for Bad People Archive: “Condoms Are For Kids”
At the QNN, we strive to come up with the best ideas to help save the world. That’s why we came up with our newest charity idea: “Condoms Are For Kids.” As we all know, Africa is an AIDS-laden, illegitimate child-filled place with children and adolescents fucking like there’s no tomorrow. Probably because there isn’t any tomorrow. Or condoms. And, as we also all know, America is immune to these problems. Real men don’t have AIDS or illegitimate children. But, …
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