Kappa Alpha Theta (a sorority at Penn State) is holding a competition to see which pledge class can “smooch/ bone/ give a sweet bj / or whatever your little heart desires” the most” They created a facebook event for it and some dumb state school girl forgot to make it private. The event lasts Sunday to Sunday and involves a mixer each night with a different frat on their campus. Basically you’re getting some action there no matter what, so road trip? Here is the full message from the event:
“four score and seven years ago god looked down on the green earth and noticed a lack of slut. At that moment the stars aligned, unicorns galloped through rainbows, the full moon shone down on mermaids, and YOU.. the chosen… were created. We have seen something special in you soldiers that make you worthy of being con…tenders for the thetalympics 2010. this challenge is like none ever before, a misson only the brave could attempt.
as syllabus week is approaching it seems necessary that not only will we be drinking heavily but we will actively be participating in the greatest Theta skank competition EVER. what is this competition you may ask? let us explain.
this is the epic battle of point and conquer…it doesnt matter how you achieve it, how long it lasts, or who its with….the only goal is to prevail.
the rules of the game are simple:
During syllabus week we will be having a social every night starting on sunday ending on sunday, the lineup is as follows
sun- PIKA aka ‘PIKE’
mon- KDR raiders of the night
tues-delta sigma phi
wed- SAE fresh meat
thurs- pi kappa motherfucking phi
fri-the gentlemans club – also known as THE dx
sat- the sigma alpha JEW house
sun- ..acacia…
you must aim to smooch/ bone/ give a sweet bj / or whatever your little heart desires with a guy from the assigned frat each night. this competition will both be individual and pledge class– fall 07&08 vs fall&winter 09. this is what dreams are made of.
One point will be awarded for each girl on your team that scores for the night, if the whole team gets it in your points for the night will be tripled. These results will be displayed on a poster in the AA room. If there are no witnesses, the claims will be based on trust and THETA LOVE.. no so that means no false-bones ladies.
now for the technicalities. First and foremost, the deets of this competition may not be divulged with ANYONE who is not a competitor. Meaning you cant tell a dude to hookup with you so you can get a point, this is based purely on game.The true wingman test is upon us…
also, we have decided to throw a twist in and gift each person with a GDI-Get out of jail free card. if you hook up with a gdi during the week, it will add two points to your individual score and will also be added to your team’s final score – but will not count towards tripling the score for the night. This is because we felt like being dicks and gdis are obviously inferior to us because we are better than everyone in the world so kiss our asses and suck our dicks, everyone.
And now to end on a quote from Mr. Notorious Big, “Fuck the state penn, fuck hoes at Penn State.”
there is only one thing left to say.. let the games begin.
Oh, and suck on our junk mchlaren”
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