While doing my general daily routine of stalking cute girls on Facebook and refreshing my profile page like every thirty seconds, I came across an item in my Live Feed that caught my attention. One of my friends joined a group called “Petition to revoke the independence of the United States of America,” which, apparently was started by a bunch of self-righteous, holier-than-thou, ignorant Brits who thought it would be funny to start a Facebook group that would intend to make the United States of America a colony of Britain again. Setting aside the fact that we kicked their asses 233 years ago, and saved their asses on multiple occasions since, it’s perfectly cool if people from a foreign county want to mock us. I get it, you’re jealous. Whatever. But what really pissed me off is that the person who joined this group is not a British citizen, or even from another country. This young lady is a born and bred American.
The United States of America is the greatest country on earth. This is an undeniable fact, just like RobertJordan is never going to not sleep on the futon on Saturday nights. I don’t care how en vogue it may seem to want to be all over Europe’s dick, but if you are an American citizen, have some fucking pride in your country. If you don’t like what we’re doing in the world, do something useful like writing to your senator or president or something. Don’t join a fucking Facebook group started by a bunch of Eurotrash assholes and pretend that you’re making a statement about how out of touch America is — if you feel so strongly against the US, move the fuck out. We don’t want you here anyway.
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