It’s Sunday morning. Possibly even afternoon at this point. Regardless, it’s the day after a great night out and it is time to buckle down and get the necessary homework out of the way. Your room has too many distractions, what with YouTube, Torrent, Hulu, Netflix… other videos… you get the picture. Plain and simple, there is just too much to do that isn’t what you need to be doing. So it’s time to give in, pack it up, and ship off to… the Library.
In case you’ve never actually ventured there before, the library is a haven for engineers, people with real majors, pre-professionals, and the occasional hottie (could be any of the above).
Now, get your bearings straight – you probably don’t have the patience, or the need, in reality, to check out any books. So you can ignore all those. The only people who actually look for books in the library are crazy art history majors, like Kage. Make sure you locate the bathrooms, because sometimes they’re hard to find and when you need to yack, you wanna be covered. You could also find your resident café, because whether you like coffee or not, if you’re gonna be partying this hard you’ll want some Joe.
Ok, got your location set? Good. Here we go.
Hangover Rules:
- If you are sensitive to light, don’t sit near windows.
- If you are going to throw up, there is a hierarchy of places to do it:
-
- Toilet, in one of the hidden bathrooms
- Trash can, preferably not around a lot of people
- Trash can, around your friends
- Empty study room
- Old reference books
- Occupied study room
- (and lastly) the Stacks, where the moveable bookshelves are. People like to hook up there, but that is a story for another time.
- Depending on how social you’re feeling (or how drunk you still are), make your decision about sitting in the conversation area wisely. Basically, if I feel like making a little noise in the conversation area, you better not “shush” me (watch that onomonopia, sir).
- Likewise, don’t go into the quiet areas if you’re planning on making a ton of noise. Don’t be that guy who taps his pen in the reading room, or I will cut you (thanks Kate).
- Bring plenty of water and Advil/Aspirin/Ibuprofen/pain-killer of choice. If the hangover doesn’t get you, the reading certainly will.
- Don’t forget your food. Something has to soak up the remaining alcohol in your system. Remember, there is no shame in ordering something to eat to the library.
- Bring your headphones, so even though you’re sitting there miserably you still get to listen to your favorite jams.
- When you take your study break, feel free to catch up via Hulu on those shows you missed because you were shmammered.
- Bring a jacket – perfect pillow when you PTFO. Also, libraries have wacky thermostats.
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