Four Loko vs. Mad Dog, an investigation

Over the weekend I went to a Jersey Shore party, a theme party I’ve been waiting for ever since the first episode aired. Yes, it everything I was hoping it would be. My outfit was perfect: I smelled like hairspray and cigarettes, my outfit featured two different kinds of animal print, and my hoop earrings were as large as personal pizzas. The final touch was some real cheap alcohol: a bright blue bottle of MD 20/20 to clutch all night. My friend who was drinking a Four Loko and I got into an argument over which bev was better. I now present to you, my findings:

MD 20/20 aka “Mad Dog”

Size: 25 oz

Flavors: Banana Red (WTF), Buck Bunny, Cranberry, Electric Melon, Key Lime Pie, Kiwi lemon, Lemon Ice, Red Grape Wine, Orange Jubilee, Spiked Melon, Sour Apple, Strawberry Cream, Strawberry Kiwi, Tangerine Dream, Blue Raspberry, Peaches and Cream, Purple Rain

Nutrition Info: Doesn’t say on the bottle, according to the internet, 960 calories

Alchohol Content: Varies by flavor. The highest is the Red Wine flavor at 18%.

Price: about $3.00

Fun Facts: Produced by Mogen David, so possibly kosher for the Jewish holidays? The Blue Raspberry flavor says “Bling Bling” directly on the bottle, which is awesome. Also known as “Bum Wine.”

Four Loko

Size: 23.5 oz

Flavors: Grape (uva berry), Citrus, Fruit punch, Orange Blend, Watermelon, Blue Raspberry, Lemonade, and Cranberry Lemonade

Nutritional Info: 660 calories per can, 60 grams of sugar

Alchohol Content: 12%

Price: about $2.50

Fun Facts: Its also an energy drink, so you can keep your caffeine buzz while getting drunk.

MD 20/20 definitely wins on flavors, because you never know when you’re gonna be craving Key Lime Pie before a party. In terms of amount of liquid to drink, the two are about the same. I think that Four Loko’s carbonation makes it a bit easier to drink, but Mad Dog has a better calorie to alcohol ratio (meaning you can get drunk for less calories). Fistpumping-wise (and I know this doesn’t usually apply), both were easy to hold, but I was afraid that I was going to break my Mad Dog bottle at some sloppy point. The Four Loko’s can form won’t break, and the tiny pourhole won’t spill much liquid- much like the ever-classy wine-in-a-can method (future post?).

Verdict: I feel like MD 20/20 is more awesome, but Four Loko would be more appropriate for a Jersey Shore Party. When its all said and done, both get you drunk for cheap and make you look like a hobo while you’re doing it.

Also, this is my new bible.

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  • The Human

    Ah, Mogen David. I believe you have characterized it improperly, it’s a fine table wine.

  • What?

    A human actually wrote this? Jersey Shore theme parties are still occuring? If only Shap let me trademark it when I had the chance! Honestly if one were to actually bring the appropriate drink to a “Jersey Shore” party, that person would bring any of the following (but preferably all): 1) Riot Punch 2) Riot Punch in a keg 3) Courage Juice 4) Ron-Ron Juice. I mean the Jersey Shore is way to classy to drink a Mad Dog, they spend money like its their job. Even D’Jais wouldn’t have Mad Dog or Four Loko. Ugh.

  • Party Longer

    I would say you didn’t factor much that four loko is an energy drink so you can party longer

  • http://facebook.com the predicament

    i mix orange jubilee mad dog and fruit punch four loko 50/50 in a cup until it’s gone! i call it MAD LOKO! don’t copyright infringe!

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