When this website was conceived the founders were adamant about the fact that swimming should be a topic never covered. Well goddamnit outliers exist. Not sure if anyone has ever heard the stat that 90% of lacrosse derives directly from “flow.” Kind of weird, and I myself start to sweat profusely whenever I workout with long hair so I dont understand it, but whatever. A similar theorum exists in the swimming world known as “beard for speed.” Today, being bored and unentertained by another monotonous practice I found myself intruigued by the smallest forces working on my body in the water. And now shit has gotten out of hand. Because I have it….I have all of it…I have it all wrapped up like jumbro should but never does. Fuck beard for speed. Swimming, is 90% about the pubes. To put this in perspective, the Vikings discovered North America. Well I just found the North America of ways to utilize your crumpy hair. Let your drag suit hang low, push off a wall nice and smooth, and feel the tingiling as every hair praises you for your quick acceleration through the water. Christ I’m getting chills sitting here just thinking about it. Come some race in the future where I am suppose to go fast, Ill be saying fuck you to stretching, nutrition, taper, dry season, mental stability and focusing only on cultivating the finest lowfro seen on any pool deck…EVER!!
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