So I just got back from a Beantown Intern connect that was supposed to convince me why, after I graduate, I should stay in Boston to work and live and shit. I guess that’s an admirable thing to do, but the whole plan was ruined when as part of the “recent grads living in Boston” panel, they had some chick from Suffolk.
Now I don’t know much about Suffolk except for one thing–it’s kinda easy to get into, and the girls are hot and dumb. This girl, a North Shore native, was pretty cute. She also was dumb as a fucking post. She lauded the Suffolk finance program and talked about all the sweet internships she got as a student. I guess that’s her using her looks to advance, which I dig. But then, she started talking about why Boston is awesome.
Girl started talking about how “well, [she] just has so many friends here, and the social life is awesome, and you know the food is really great, you know?” and how “because you guys are probably food lovers, you should, um know, that Boston’s food is really great, and the city is suchhhhhh a walking city, you can basically, oh if you want Chinese it’s a five minute walk that way–the BEST Chinese food in Chinatown–and if you like Thai it’s like ten minutes. Basically you can walk the whole city in an hour which is great for your hour lunch breaks.”
News flash: when you ramble incoherently about Boston food being awesome and how it’s such a great walking city, it doesn’t make me want to live here. It makes me want to off myself.
Now I’m not a hard guy to entertain. I’ll pay the fuck attention out of basically anything that you want to tell me. But listen, sweetie, just because you’ve had five internships in Boston and graduated college 15 minutes from your house, it doesn’t make you intelligent. So don’t pretend, and save everyone the frustration.
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