This is the second in a series of gift guides by the W2FY staff. Every couple days leading up to Christmas, we’ll be posting some things that you should be buying for people who matter in your life. You can see the first one here.
College is a time for expanding your horizons, learning new things, and getting shitfaced drunk. Here’s a collection of gifts for the college students you know who particularly enjoy indulging.
Gifts for the Collegiate Alcoholic
Its been statistically proven that 1 in 10 people still pee themselves in adulthood, and for a person that drinks that number quickly escalates more than doubling, 1 in 4. So W2FY recommends Plastic Bed Liners. That way should such an incident happen, your mattress is safe.
Now I know this one isn’t some sort of revelation but sometimes you have to stick to the basics. For that reason W2FY recommends a Flask. For all of those inopportune moments, and also as a secret stash when the party you are at runs out of booze.
Now for the intelligent alcoholic, he never wants to show how deep his problem is, for that reason W2FY recommends Wine Glasses, that way when you bring people back to your room you can attribute your alcoholism to being a cultured and classy individual. These ones don’t have a stem and look especially sophisticated.
In an attempt to make the average college drinker into a classy person, W2FY recommends a Four-Shelf Bookcase. Now you may be asking yourself why, but such an item always shows the inner intellect that lies within and also it is a perfect setup for the biggest deal closing line, “My room smells of rich mahogany…I have many leather bound books”
Lastly and most importantly w2fy recommends the most essential item for the alcoholic, Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance. Once you read this book you will know why we recommend it, also it helps fill out the mahogany looking bookshelf.
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