So I’m sitting here in the library, writing about alienation in American fiction in the first half of the twentieth century, and I’m thinking to myself. Like literally, just thinking to myself. About all sorts of stuff. So, naturally, I decided to myself I should share them with the world, because I am super important and everyone is interested in what I have to say. Here it is, off the top of the dome, some things I’ve been thinking about.
There may be no better feeling in the world than walking in the dorm bathrooms to take a shit and discovering that the OneSource people just left. Like sitting down to fresh porcelain has to be the best thing ever. I feel like I just won the fucking Powerball. And double that if there is no one else in the bathroom at the time. I literally can sit in a clean stall and read Men’s Health in peace for hours on end. (Ok, the hours might be an exaggeration.)- Conversely, there is no worse feeling than when you walk into the bathroom and find that the OneSource lady is still in there, scrubbing away. There is absolutely no way I can have a comfortable shit when there is a lady in there singing softly in Spanish. I just can’t relax. This feeling is right up there with the one you get when you realize that you have to take the middle stall, surrounded on both ends. Sometimes I just tense things up and wait fifteen minutes to try again. Just can’t stand it. Like I always say, in the bedroom and in the bathroom, never be outflanked.
- I mentioned like last week how awesome it is that school ends just as the weather gets warm. There is a corollary to this however: it fucking sucks to have to be in the library studying or writing a paper when it is so nice out. Kills me to look outside and see sunshine, doubly so on days like yesterday when all my Florida friends facebook statuses are talking about getting drunk on the beach for Cinco de Mayo. Shit’s not that cool.
- Of course, even in the library, girls still look fantastic in warm weather. I love it when girls can pull of the “I just got out of bed but I look fucking hot” look. It’s the simple things in life that you really need to appreciate.
- I think I might be the only person who doesn’t like the facebook feature that lets you comment on wall posts. I just don’t like it. Mainly because people use it to comment on on things completely unrelated to the post itself. Like when some girl writes on another girl’s status “hey how r u!?! haven’t seen u in sooooo long! let’s catch up!” How much harder would it have been to type this on the wall itself? Not much. I’m overreacting, sorry.
- I will admit an exception to that: when someone writes an completely inappropriate comment on someone’s wall post. Like “Ashley is now single” and some dude writes “hey girl when you gonna let me treat u right?” That’s pure comedic gold right there.
That’s it. Enjoy your library time you filthy animals, ’cause I sure am.
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