Editor’s Note: We’ve got some advice from our alumni buds coming to you over the next couple days to get you prepared for Spring Fling. You can check out Shield’s or jnap’s from earlier. We’ll have a few more coming up. Be prepared.
I can think of a lot of things that you shouldn’t do at Spring Fling – that part’s not hard. Don’t get so drunk you can’t walk. Don’t try to bury a keg in the President’s Lawn. Don’t fuck with the police outside of the concert venue. Don’t pee on the crowd and then swear at Spoon. There are a 100 more, and I’m sure every one of you can think of plenty that I’ve left out.
I made it to three and a half Spring Flings through my four years. Dropkick Murphy’s “Shipping up to Boston” unfortunately turned out to be my tipping point and ended up with me in jail. Rather than make a list of things to avoid doing at the concert I’ll just share a few thoughts.
I was back at school this past weekend and I came to a realization. Well a few, really. First, I couldn’t believe how awesome it was to be back on campus. I lived that life for three years, and my second point really builds from here. I realized that so many of my favorite stories from school are just too bad, crazy, idiotic, stupid, and – to be honest, dangerous – to tell most people.
Imagine trying to explain SoCo Challenge to someone who you work with. Think about how much of an alcoholic you’d sound like if you explained to a friend from another school what happens during Chug-Off. Or, and I’m looking at Bridge Troll, The Chef, and Farva on this one, if we tried to come up with a good reason why we hit golf balls off the roof of our house that morning across the traffic on ProRow into the field.
The best of these – and I guess it the same sense, the worst – come from Spring Fling. Mack the Human (I think it was Mack, but I’ll give Fritz and El Guapo some credit, too) had a good definition of something called Type 2 fun. Type 2 fun is when after-the-fact, whether it’s two hours, three weeks, or a few months later, something that seemed terrible at the time it happened becomes fun. I’ll explain.
Say you participate in a case race on a Friday afternoon. Most of the time during a case race you end up drinking so much beer that you can’t breathe, walk, or see straight, and at the time you think “Well fuck me why did I think this was a good idea?” Don’t try to big-time me frat kid. It sucks, you’ll probably puke, and you’ll feel sick. However, when you wake up on Monday and are thinking about the weekend while you’re sitting in Math 12, suddenly blacking out on Friday and waking up next to a hood rat was worth it. Boom. Type 2 fun.
Spring Fling is going to be Type 2 fun. No one really wants to wake up at 7:00am to start drinking vodka. No one really wants to play Beirut with mimosas. But rally on my sons. For Spring Fling is a day where the boys become men and the men go to prison. When the chicken nuggets in the dining hall get tossed faster than a drunk girl from Pub. And when getting booted from the library after getting beaned in the Tisch stacks is the only option.
I’ll leave you with a few words of wisdom that I feel fit well: Success comes in cans, not in can’ts. Let’s do this. I can’t wait to see you all on the 1st.
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