Editor’s Note: Lemme preface this by saying as soon as I saw the Daily article about Carmichael going trayless after Spring Break, I was gonna rant about this. I check my email, and Darkhorse as sent me this. Fucking eery. For posterity, here’s a link to the article.
It is time for another edition of “This is Horseshit” by the Darkhorse. Today’s topic: food trays. There is this huge initiative across the country that is attempting to eliminate trays from college dining halls, and this is horseshit. The idea behind the Great Tray Massacre of 2010 is this: no trays equals no water wasted to wash them, and students will be less inclined to pile food onto their plates that they will just end up not eating and throwing out. Although sound in principle, this system will just not work. Besides holding plates of food, your tray also holds silverware and cups. Most universities have these miniscule cups that hold about 6 oz of liquid. To get enough fluids so that you won’t have to walk back and forth to the drink machines every 5 minutes people are forced to take 2+ cups. This would be impossible to carry if you are left trayless. I am guessing that this fascist trayless idea also wants students to use just one cup, and we all know how well two girls with one cup turns out. With this rule in place, you will have students walking all over the dining hall creating more “traffic” jams and spills. Additionally, students will be less inclined to return their plates and cups to the return area to be washed. Very few people will make the multiple trips to the return area just to send their plates and cups through for washing. So what’s the solution? I’ll tell you: it’s going plateless.
That’s right, plateless. No one has really brought up going plateless yet and I know it is a much better idea than going trayless. Having a try instead of a plate still lets students carry drinks and food and silverware while still reducing the amount of water used for washing. “But Darkhorse, what is going to stop my food and drinks from crashing into eachother?” A great question indeed, but this problem was solved once before…in elementary school. In elementary school, we had those Styrofoam plastic trays that had one spot for your main course, one spot for your milk, and one spot for your vegetables or whatever the hell else you wanted to put in there. I propose the same idea. The trays should be made of plastic (as they are already) but should be molded to have spots for different kinds of foods. There can be molded cup spots that don’t allow your cups to slide. There can be a round spot that fits a bowl perfectly so you can still have cereal or a salad. You can even have a small spot to put ketchup and other sauces. This system still gives students a way of carrying their food and drinks altogether while saving water at the same time. Plus, the trays are just as clean as plates so students should have no qualms eating off of a tray.
The real solution is that this is America, and as Americans we can do what we want. If we want trays and plates then we can have them, and if you disagree then you can go to hell you hippie.
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