I was reading an article on Deadspin entitled Great Moments in Hookup History. It’s a very entertaining series on the site that is a collection of exactly what the title states. However, this particular compilation caught my eye:
This is to go along with your experience with watching Dead Man Walking. I had a girl come over to my place from the bar when she suggested we watch a movie. Now, I didn’t think anything of it at the time, and grabbed the most readily available DVD. Turns out my roommate had been watching KIDS, and popped it in so as to resume making out on the couch. An hour and a half later I have a girl far too sketched out by “Shhhhh Jenny, it’s just me, Casper,” to want to so much as look at me.
The messed up thing is that this exact event happened to me my FRESHMAN YEAR (The Irony!).Now I obviously did not write that except even though the credited author is named “Andy”, but that story was eerily similar except for a few different events.
1 – Mosk was not previously watching KIDS. It my was my evil girlfriends idea to rent the movie from the school library and watch it together. Who is that fucked up to actually suggest that movie and then state that it’s one of her favorite movies. I learned, probably too late and finally listened to my freind’s pleas, that yes, she is that fucked up. Since we were broke, dumb freshman, we went to the school library to find a movie to watch. And this is all we could find that she accepted! I mean, college library’s don’t have the most entertaining movie selection but goddamn woman.
2 – Now we actually hooked up during this movie, possibly throughout the whole thing until I actually started catching wind of what they were talking about. And that clearly just ruined everything, but not for her. I think she might’ve been inspired by the picture. Your welcome.
3 – Mosk. Why didn’t you just hit me with my own baseball bat during that part of my life.
Now, what I ask, what could possibly be the worst movies to watch as just background noise while trying to hook up? You know you just want background noise, but not a chick flick where she will actually start to pay attention and forget about you. Here’s my list.
KIDS - ‘Nuff Said. And I’m somehow not the only one.
Schindler’s List – Yeah Baby. There’s something that tells me that some person might actually enjoy this movie with someone willing to get down and dirty. Well maybe only those sorority girls from Penn State. Mazel Tov!
The Notebook – I know your girl has probably suggested watching this movie more than once (or like mine, at least once a week) and saying stuff about how it’s all beautiful and what not. Then she’s crying by the end of it and not wanting anything at all. Same goes for Marley & Me. Animals get girls in the mood all the time, just not when they’re dying.
Any Oscar Nominations – They are either too long, too in depth, too serious, too sad…just too good of movies. Trust me, you’re better off with BioDome.
And finally….
Anything – Because distraction is still a distraction.
-Just start groping immediately or better yet put on the Jersey Shore. Compared to those guys, you must look like a normal human being, right? RIGHT!?
Time to GTL.
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