- Apple sold over 190,000 iPads in the first day and now it appears if your battery life dies, they’ll send you a new one for $99. [Mashable]
- The Kansas Jayhawks are the overall number 1 seed in the NCAA tournament, are you ready for some March Madness? [ESPN]
- I always liked those big exercise balls, but this is really what makes them fun. [YBNBY]
- This fat lady is just getting fatter and that’s what makes her happy. [Barstool]
- David Beckham tore his achilles tendon and will have surgery forcing him to miss the World Cup. [CNN]
- The Pacific, a new HBO series that is just like Band of Brothers premiered last night and apparently was awesome. [WarmingGlow]
- Erin Andrews is practing her Dancing with the Stars moves with Dickie V… and she just doesn’t look happy about it. [BustedCoverage]
Hopefully the Nor’Easter hasn’t washed you away.
It is that wonderful time of the year again. Birds are chirping, the sun is shining bright, there are even hippies throwing a Frisbee around outside that yell at you when you call it
Flava Flav doesn't mind grating his dick to save daylight. Also, I suck at photoshop.
Frisbee because apparently it is supposed to be called Ultimate because they are pompous pricks. In case you haven’t noticed the 4 inches of water in your basement, none of those things are currently happening right now except for the hippies sucking dicks. The reason for this crappy weather you ask? Daylight Saving Time.
Daylight Saving is the worst thing to ever hit mankind. As you know, we just set the clocks FORWARD one hour on Sunday morning and everyone is currently hung-over because of it. No one could fall asleep on time without taking an Ambien cocktail and free time was forced to be cut short on one of two days off that normal hardworking Americans get per week. The only upside to this horseshit is that it will be light outside past 4:15 pm.
Despite what you all think, Daylight Saving Time has nothing to do with farmers or with kids getting trucksticked by school busses or the need for more daylight during a world war. In 1918 The House of Representatives voted to “save daylight” with a law that made everyone mess with their clocks twice a year. The reason: in the summertime months, the sun rises before most people do, and therefore if we set the clocks forward one hour then everyone will be awake for the maximum amount of sunlight hours. This will save energy and spare people from keeping their shades closed in the morning while they try to sleep in later. read more…
Perennial W2Fy favorites Chiddy Bang have a new mixtape dropping soon, and this is the first leak from it. Chill as shittttttt. We’ll keep you updated, of course.
Now daylight savings time has got my sleep schedule all sorts of fucked up, so I’m winning some cash money playing late night poker right now. No better music to play to than country, of course, so I’m listening to the Corey Smith Pandora station (fantastic). But scope out the description for the band Sunshine: “Snapped up during the … flurry of post-Creed and Nickelback signings….”
Nobody likes Nickelback or Creed. Why did Pandora ever think this would be an enticing description?
Each Sunday W2Fy teams up with SmartestYear.com to bring you some overly pedantic facts to spice up conversations. This week learn about historical duels and how hipsters might be the next Hitler. As always, check out SmartestYear.com everyday for a brand new fact and all sorts of new knowledge.
Historical Low Blow (3/5/10)
On July 11, 1804, Vice President Aaron Burr shot and killed Secretary of Treasury
Alexander Hamilton in a duel (present day equivalent of Joe Biden killing Timothy Geithner). The duel took place in New Jersey, because New York had outlawed dueling. The bitter politicians arrived at the set location on separate boats. Measures were taken so all witnesses could deny any wrong doing. For example, the guns were concealed so all witnesses could legally claim that they saw no weapons. Also during the actual duel, all other people present turned their backs so they also could legally declare that they saw no gun fire. Everyone was very literal. During the duel itself, Hamilton took the first shot. But he shot up in the air, possibly “throwing away his fire” as a sign of aborting the duel with honor. Then, Burr shot Hamilton in the groin, as a sign of wanting to shoot Hamilton in the groin. read more…
The Tufts Administration recently announced changes to the Spring Fling alcohol policy aimed to reduce alcohol related incidents. In attempt to stop students from over-indulging during the concert, of-age students will no longer be able to bring up to a six-
pack of beer into the concert. Unfortunately, this change completely ignores the issue at hand, and will only make matters worse for both students and the administration.
As we’ve talked about before, college administrations seem to think that by making beer less available, they will somehow magically stop people from over drinking. This is ridiculous, and absolutely false. As a college student, I can say with certainty that if the average student knows that they will not be able to drink at an event that they want to be drunk for (like a Spring Fling concert), then they will heavily pregame it so they can “keep the buzz” during the event. It’s a dangerous game to be playing, yes, but it’s what happens. And it happens often. But for some reason, college administrators, and specifically those at Tufts, don’t seem to understand this concept. When pressed that such a change might cause students to pregame heavily, Bruce Reitman, the Tufts Dean of Students, showed just how out of touch he is with reality by responding with this quote:
“The fact that there won’t be alcohol for five hours … does not mean that therefore people should drink more in the neighborhood or dormitories,” Reitman said. “That’s just stupid.”
Really Dean Reitman? Your best response is to call it stupid? Excuse me, but that’s just a stupid answer. By pretending a problem doesn’t exist, you can never fix it. read more…
This is the first of our stories from our readers’ freshman years. Based on how you guys react, we’ll be naming a winner at the end of the month. Tell us what you think in the comments!
Setting: 3rd floor Houston Hall aka the most freshman dorm.
Time: Approximately between 10 pm and 2 am on a Friday night in October
Friday night, the second and more mellower night of the weekend was upon us.Somehow found myself making out with a girl in the hallway. Even in my slightly inebriated state, I decided privacy was necessary so I talked her into taking up residence in the women’s bathroom. Let’s just say things get intimate. As this happens we hear a girl walking down the floor and start to come into the bathroom. So we bolt to the nearest stall to keep the ball rolling. I put the seat down and sit on the toilet, lift my feet up and the girl sits on top of me (apparently at this point in the year it was still awkward to have a boy in a women’s restroom with a scantily clad female). We continue to suck face.
The intruder bursts into the bathroom, sits down in the adjacent stall and just starts BLASTing ass, like no holds bar beer shits the next morning, stomach flu diarrhea shit. You know when your dentist asks you to gargle and spit into the sink after scraping the shit out of you gums, imagine that. I have seen Harold and Kumar, I thought it was suppose to be a comedic farse, but that shit is real, mad real.
Obviously, my p-p-poker face was not good enough to handle the scenario. I burst out laughing and get the fuck out of the putrid ass, reeking skank shit bathroom. Of course, with lady in tow.
Anyway the moral of the story is: Girls actually do poop, and it can be just as disgusting as a man dookie.
THE END
Sincerely,
Weenachong
